Vision
So it occurred to me that the Eddie Adams Workshop is finishing up today. For those who know, this is one of the preeminent workshops for developing photojournalists in the country. I have been rejected two years running now.
A couple months back I wrote a long blog about how hurt I was, and how it was a good thing. I have to say, in a few months, some things have changed. I plan on signing up for a couple portfolio reviews for a local photography festival conference-thingy. It's called fotoweekDC, and it's a little of everything. Admittedly, I can't possibly have anything in common with 90% of the people attending/participating except that I use a camera to make a living. That may seem like there is a lot in common. And I thought initially, it'd be this big gathering of like-minded individuals pal-ing around exhanging answers to such flummoxing questions like, "What's your favorite f-stop?". Hopefully not that one, but as a former teacher of mine pointed out recently, there really isn't much in common I have with someone who shoots commercial architecture for a living. Yes, we use a camera, but very different gear, and very different mentalities. But I digress...I didn't start this blog to talk about the minutiae separating each type of photographer. I have to admit I have a bit of diarrheah of the mouth (keyboard) going on, because I haven't blogged for a couple weeks. Which is very similar to not shooting for a couple weeks. When you finally bring yourself to the breaking point of not being able to stand it that you aren't being creative, it ends up just bursting out, and many times it isn't very pretty, but it clears the way for the really good stuff to follow.
So again, I get back to my point: picture-making. When I was turned down for the EAW workshops I was devastated. Mostly because I was dumb enough to believe that I was really good and worthy of going to that workshop. But I look back at my images and see that they suck. Ok, maybe not that bad, but sometimes I really believe I'm the worst photographer who ever picked up a camera. It's happened enough now, that I fully realize it's a phase that passes. The point is that I have serious doubts about nearly every image in my working portfolio, and it aggravates me.
So how the hell do I sign up for a portfolio review when I don't like any of my work? Go get more images? Ok, good. Working on that; takes time, though. But what about vision? Or style? But maybe the images aren't that good because they are a little scattered. There is no narrative. This is not meant in the strict picture story sense of narrative. I recently read on Vincent LaForet's blog where he related a story about a James Nachtwey portfolio review. He quietly looked through the pages of a student's portfolio, finally concluding with a singular comment, before closing the book and moving on to the next student.
"I'm afraid these pictures don't tell me anything about who you are."
Ouch. Sometimes the truth hurts. When I read that, I looked at my images and blushed. They really don't say a thing about who I am as a person or a photographer. I'm not embarrassed...yet. I realize these things take time. I think a few years back to when I decided to make the leap into photography. The learning curve was steep. And just when I thought it was flattening out, and I was started to "get it", I hear something like this, and it makes me think again about what images really are. Or what they should be about.
Who am I?
The answer is just as important as "Who are they?". "They" meaning the people in my images. There are few images of mine, if any, that have any sort of connection between what is going on in my image and how that describes anything about myself.
I sat down with a friend of mine who teaches and asked for some advice on putting together a portfolio. I don't know why some bits of advice need to be heard repeatedly to be understood, but they do. But hearing that I need to say something with my images is one of those. When I first started I thought that it meant to have a nice image that conveyed the moment accurately. I then came to realize it was more about understanding the moment and being able to put it into context. Now I'm coming to understand that it is all of these but also what it means to me. And then hammer away at it. Like Sebastião Salgado, Nachtwey, Gene Smith did portraying the human condition. Find a theme, a singular vision and speak that over and over again.
Now how the f*** do I do that? Especially when I didn't know (actually, understand) the first 2+ years of being a photographer. This makes me want to throw all my images in the garbage. But it did occur to me (and there are some photographs to be had) that the condition of being an American is fascinating. And again, it occurred to me, that I have been subconsiously pursuing this theme. Half-heartedly, because I didn't see the forest for the trees, but I've been to Primary Election rallies, County Fairs, and Fiestas. These all struck me as being the most interesting work I've done because they are all, in some way or another, uniquely American events, and/or traditions. This is also what intrigues me most about sports. Summer league baseball, Friday night football, the marching band. These are all uniquely American traditions and pasttimes.
So with a renewed vigor (how many times can someone renew their vigor, I wonder?) I see a little light at the end of the tunnel. A way to answer the criticism of who I am. I am an American and this is how I see my country. No, it isn't perfect. But it's closer to what I think I am interested in conveying as a concept and a vision. A style or subject to hone, and polish. I think this is the beginning of finally etching out something to say...with images...
A couple months back I wrote a long blog about how hurt I was, and how it was a good thing. I have to say, in a few months, some things have changed. I plan on signing up for a couple portfolio reviews for a local photography festival conference-thingy. It's called fotoweekDC, and it's a little of everything. Admittedly, I can't possibly have anything in common with 90% of the people attending/participating except that I use a camera to make a living. That may seem like there is a lot in common. And I thought initially, it'd be this big gathering of like-minded individuals pal-ing around exhanging answers to such flummoxing questions like, "What's your favorite f-stop?". Hopefully not that one, but as a former teacher of mine pointed out recently, there really isn't much in common I have with someone who shoots commercial architecture for a living. Yes, we use a camera, but very different gear, and very different mentalities. But I digress...I didn't start this blog to talk about the minutiae separating each type of photographer. I have to admit I have a bit of diarrheah of the mouth (keyboard) going on, because I haven't blogged for a couple weeks. Which is very similar to not shooting for a couple weeks. When you finally bring yourself to the breaking point of not being able to stand it that you aren't being creative, it ends up just bursting out, and many times it isn't very pretty, but it clears the way for the really good stuff to follow.
So again, I get back to my point: picture-making. When I was turned down for the EAW workshops I was devastated. Mostly because I was dumb enough to believe that I was really good and worthy of going to that workshop. But I look back at my images and see that they suck. Ok, maybe not that bad, but sometimes I really believe I'm the worst photographer who ever picked up a camera. It's happened enough now, that I fully realize it's a phase that passes. The point is that I have serious doubts about nearly every image in my working portfolio, and it aggravates me.
So how the hell do I sign up for a portfolio review when I don't like any of my work? Go get more images? Ok, good. Working on that; takes time, though. But what about vision? Or style? But maybe the images aren't that good because they are a little scattered. There is no narrative. This is not meant in the strict picture story sense of narrative. I recently read on Vincent LaForet's blog where he related a story about a James Nachtwey portfolio review. He quietly looked through the pages of a student's portfolio, finally concluding with a singular comment, before closing the book and moving on to the next student.
"I'm afraid these pictures don't tell me anything about who you are."
Ouch. Sometimes the truth hurts. When I read that, I looked at my images and blushed. They really don't say a thing about who I am as a person or a photographer. I'm not embarrassed...yet. I realize these things take time. I think a few years back to when I decided to make the leap into photography. The learning curve was steep. And just when I thought it was flattening out, and I was started to "get it", I hear something like this, and it makes me think again about what images really are. Or what they should be about.
Who am I?
The answer is just as important as "Who are they?". "They" meaning the people in my images. There are few images of mine, if any, that have any sort of connection between what is going on in my image and how that describes anything about myself.
I sat down with a friend of mine who teaches and asked for some advice on putting together a portfolio. I don't know why some bits of advice need to be heard repeatedly to be understood, but they do. But hearing that I need to say something with my images is one of those. When I first started I thought that it meant to have a nice image that conveyed the moment accurately. I then came to realize it was more about understanding the moment and being able to put it into context. Now I'm coming to understand that it is all of these but also what it means to me. And then hammer away at it. Like Sebastião Salgado, Nachtwey, Gene Smith did portraying the human condition. Find a theme, a singular vision and speak that over and over again.
Now how the f*** do I do that? Especially when I didn't know (actually, understand) the first 2+ years of being a photographer. This makes me want to throw all my images in the garbage. But it did occur to me (and there are some photographs to be had) that the condition of being an American is fascinating. And again, it occurred to me, that I have been subconsiously pursuing this theme. Half-heartedly, because I didn't see the forest for the trees, but I've been to Primary Election rallies, County Fairs, and Fiestas. These all struck me as being the most interesting work I've done because they are all, in some way or another, uniquely American events, and/or traditions. This is also what intrigues me most about sports. Summer league baseball, Friday night football, the marching band. These are all uniquely American traditions and pasttimes.
So with a renewed vigor (how many times can someone renew their vigor, I wonder?) I see a little light at the end of the tunnel. A way to answer the criticism of who I am. I am an American and this is how I see my country. No, it isn't perfect. But it's closer to what I think I am interested in conveying as a concept and a vision. A style or subject to hone, and polish. I think this is the beginning of finally etching out something to say...with images...
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